Saturday, February 15, 2014

Hearts Twice Broken

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Some of you may remember this post from around last Christmas time. We thought we had an adoptive placement, but it fell through.

After prayerful consideration, we switched agencies, went through all the training once again, and opened our home and our hearts again.

In October, because our agency was having problems with finding a respite home for three children and we had room available, we had three adorable children enter our lives.

They visited again at the beginning of January, and we found that they were going to be moved and there was a chance of them moving with us.

We were excited, even though we knew we’d only be having them temporarily. We bought car seats, set up the crib, and planned how we would create family rules. We were even able to introduce them to our family that weekend. They were excited about coming to live with us and made comments such as, “We want to live with you forever.”

And then, once again, our plans and excitement turned into rubble. For whatever reason, it doesn’t look like God’s plan for our lives is to ever see them again. So, the Saturday when we planned to go shopping with them to pick up some d├ęcor for their rooms turned into a hard day of returning crib and car seats and then coming home to a quiet, lonely house.

So, when we go into the spare rooms, which we still speak of affectionately as if they belong to those kiddos, our hearts hurt once again. But through the hurt and the questioning, God has reassured me once again that He is in control, and He is working out His plan for our life.

Perhaps, somehow, God was able to speak to the hurting hearts of those kiddos during their visits in our home. My prayer is that if they remember us as they grow older, they remember the love that we had for them and the love that we had for Jesus.

So the question in some of your minds may be, “Well, what now? Will they continue through this roller coaster ride of emotions?”

The answer is a resounding, “Yes.” If we were in this for ourselves, maybe we wouldn’t. After all, hopes being dashed repetitively is not something most humans crave. But we aren’t in it for ourselves. We’re on this journey because God has asked us to touch little lives for Him. If you think of us, pray that God will continue to guide and direct us as we do what we can to show whatever little ones who come into our lives the beautiful love of Jesus!

4 comments:

  1. I don't recall if I ever shared with you that a friend of mine who considered fostering (she felt they were too old to adopt a 3rd time) said "if I could just rock a little one and sing Jesus Loves Me to them when nobody else ever has, it would have to be impactful on some level.

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    Replies
    1. Aww. What a beautiful way of saying what I have felt so many times. Thanks for the comment and for following along on our journey.

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  2. Bethany, God sees your generous hearts and will bless you!
    Praying for you and that your dream comes true!

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  3. Oh, Bethany, what a heart-wrenching post. I will try to remember to pray for y'all that God will continue to guide you to the kids HE wants y'all to touch. I'm sure you touch those little lives for Him!

    Hugs,
    ~Heather~

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