This post shares some of my thoughts about the nitty-gritty details of adoption. I do not at all intend for it to be a complaint, but rather, I want you to obtain a deeper understanding of the reality of adoption.
Tomorrow is our second home study and for some reason, I’m just as nervous as I was the last time. Why? I don’t exactly know.
The truth of the matter is, if you want to adopt, you should be prepared to have your life invaded. I know, I know. When you have a baby your life is invaded too. When you have a baby, your sleep is gone, your old habits have to change, and your old routine is out the window.
Adoption is a whole other story. Before the kid(s) come, your life is invaded. Your schedule changes to fit in a myriad of trainings, classes, and paperwork. Things can be canceled, postponed, or rescheduled, and you’ll just have to do your best to rework your schedule.
You have no privacy. The agency wants information about every aspect of your life, medical details, financial details, relationship details, religious details, etcetera. This is not so that they can find all the dirt on you. Instead, it is so that they can understand and support you. When you are filling out all the paperwork it may not feel very supportive, but long term it really is!
You welcome strangers into your home. They perform inspections of your house and your marriage. Are your meds locked up? What about your cleaning supplies? What is your biggest marital weakness? What do you dislike most about your spouse? What do you like most about them? It can be a super intimidating process for sure!
Your friends can change. Believe it or not, some people don’t agree with adoption, or think that it is ok for other people but not for you. Some people can’t understand why anyone would ever adopt when they could have their “own” biological kids. Some can’t understand why you won’t spend the money to adopt an infant, and why in the world you want to adopt an older sibling group. It can cause strain on relationships and friendships can dissipate.
So, why? Why would we do this, well, you can check out this earlier post, but to put it succinctly, we want to adopt because that is one of God’s callings for our life.
It’s true that adoption is not for the faint of heart. It is true that there are a lot of sad, sad stories out there about adopted children with ruined lives. It’s true that our lives will never be the same. However, it is also true that God adopted us. It’s true that He will give us grace for whatever we face. It’s true that He can use us to reach out to the hurting children that He brings into our lives.
So, if God calls you to this ministry, don’t be discouraged. Be informed, be real, be prayerful, but don’t be dissuaded, deluded, or disheartened! God will work out His perfect plan in your life!